A Distant Journey Read online

  When she was in Palm Springs, Cindy talked constantly about Robbie. ‘I can’t wait for you to meet him. He’s promised to come here some time. I’ve told him all about you and Joey.’

  ‘You seem very pleased with Robbie,’ said Babs. ‘But I still think you should look around. Don’t get tied down with one person. Play the field.’

  Alice shook her head impatiently and ignored Babs’s comment. ‘When he comes to visit, I’ll get Spencer to talk to him about law schools. Spencer will be able to point him in the right direction. And you’re not letting him take any liberties, are you?’ she added bluntly. ‘We don’t want you ending up with an unwanted pregnancy.’

  Cindy was shocked that Alice could be so tactless in front of Babs.

  ‘Aunt Alice!’ she said. ‘No, Robbie is a perfect gentleman.’ Cindy’s sorority sisters frequently complained about fending off their overfamiliar boyfriends, but, much to Cindy’s relief, Robbie respected Cindy’s determination to save herself for her wedding night. She frowned at Alice and brusquely changed the subject. ‘A group of us are thinking about taking a trip to Mexico during the spring break. Would you be upset if I went, rather than coming back here?’

  ‘No, of course not. You just have a good time, but Cindy, do be careful,’ said Babs.

  ‘Personally, I don’t think it’s safe,’ said Alice emphatically. ‘Mexico is full of drugs and bandits and villains. Terrible place. Why would you want to go there?’

  ‘We’ll be fine, Aunt Alice. It’s not like I’m going by myself. I’ll be in a group. Please don’t worry.’

  *

  Several weeks later, Cindy, Chrissie and a group of their sorority and fraternity friends headed south. Cindy and Robbie went separately, as they both took their cars. It took two days for them all to reach the beachside township where they planned to stay. The queues of cars and inspections at the border in Tijuana were slightly intimidating, but once they were through that, they all felt they were south of the border in more ways than one.

  They stayed in a very basic hotel, which Chrissie described as being minus one star. Thin mattresses, no hot water and certainly no air conditioning, but its location was amazing. Cindy was stunned by the brilliant blue warm water, miles of sandy beaches, and rustic cafés and bars. The boys quickly flung themselves into the waves while the girls organised the rooms: the women in the ones nearest the beach, the men in the row behind. Several of the boys who were short on cash planned to sleep on the beach. Everyone quickly got into the spirit of Mexico and began ordering local long-necked beers with lime wedges jammed in the top and fresh shrimps in tall cocktail glasses soaked in tequila and tomato juice.

  The food was spicy, the days hot and languid, and the stories and jokes they told each other became more and more outlandish. Everyone was drinking far too much of the cheap and plentiful alcohol. Cindy found out for herself that tequila really was potent stuff and once, after a big night, she woke up the next morning with a splitting headache. She was a bit more circumspect after that. But most of the boys continued to drink heavily, and after a while Cindy found their behaviour boorish, and it seemed to get worse when a group from Fresno joined them. She was glad that Robbie, who was a little older than the others, was not inclined to show off by getting drunk. And they both quickly found that they liked to get away from the others now and then by wandering into the little town behind the beach to look around and sample the Mexican food.

  The night before they were due to leave, Cindy and Robbie walked hand in hand along the beach. They talked about the future and planned many more trips abroad.

  ‘Have you had a good time on this trip, Cindy?’ Robbie asked.

  ‘It’s been wonderful,’ Cindy replied. ‘But I can’t help but notice how poor the people around here are. It makes me feel a bit uncomfortable when it’s clear that we have so much and they have so little. They seem happy, though.’

  ‘Maybe that’s because they are perfectly content with their lives,’ suggested Robbie.

  Cindy considered this. ‘Or maybe it’s because they don’t know any other way to live. Maybe they don’t think there are any alternatives.’

  ‘Perhaps for some people there are no alternatives,’ said Robbie quietly.

  ‘I think there are always alternatives,’ said Cindy brightly, though as she spoke she wondered if she really believed this.

  ‘I hope you’re right,’ Robbie murmured, then he bent over and kissed her, and she returned his kiss with passion, but Robbie seemed distracted.

  ‘Robbie, are you okay?’ she asked softly.

  Robbie looked away. ‘I’m sorry. I’m spoiling our last night. Let’s have a swim in the moonlight while we still have the chance.’

  As Cindy swam in the warm waters of the Pacific Ocean, she felt her heart overflow with emotion. She hoped she would have the chance to travel again soon. Seeing new places, meeting different types of people and experiencing new cultures fulfilled a deep need inside her, as though it was something that was meant to be. And as she glanced at Robbie, Cindy sighed with happiness. It had been a perfect trip.

  As she drove back to Palm Springs at the end of her freshman year, Cindy thought about how happy she was with the way things had gone for her at UCSB. Although she had not topped any of her classes, she felt that she had done well enough academically. She had some great friends amongst her sorority sisters, and then there was Robbie. He seemed so much more mature than the other boys and she was pleased that he was single-minded about wanting to pursue a legal career and wasn’t just attending college to have a good time. Robbie was so nice and so much fun to be with and all the other sorority sisters envied her good luck in finding such a wonderful boyfriend. In fact, Cindy hoped that soon he would be more than her boyfriend. She didn’t want to jinx it, but she felt sure he would propose soon. When he put his arm around her, she felt a warm glow that went right down to her toes. Robbie had promised to visit her over the summer vacation and she desperately hoped he would keep his promise.

  ‘You certainly seem infatuated with this Robbie,’ said Alice, when Cindy went over to see her. ‘But be careful, don’t throw yourself away on the first boy who comes along.’

  ‘But you said not to wait too long, or someone else would grab the good ones!’ Cindy spluttered.

  ‘Nonsense, Cindy, you can do better, I have no doubt. Besides, you need to make a good career for yourself. You can’t just rely on a man to look after you. Your mother was far too wishy-washy. You need to be more like me. Independent.’

  As much as Cindy loved her aunt, Alice always swung with the wind, so it was difficult to know just where things really stood with her. ‘You haven’t even met him yet. When he comes to visit, you’ll see just how great he is,’ she retorted.

  Luckily Cindy didn’t have long to wait. Only two weeks into the vacation, Robbie called to ask if it would be convenient for him to come and stay a few days. He had landed a summer job in a law firm in Sacramento, he said, and wanted to see Cindy before he started there. ‘I’ll just be an office boy, really, but it’s going to be so exciting being part of a busy law firm. One more year and then I’ll be in law school. I’m sorry that I can’t visit for long, but I really can’t let this opportunity go.’ The enthusiasm was clear in his voice and Cindy hoped she was part of the future he was building towards.

  As Robbie’s arrival approached she found she was beside herself with excitement, and when Robbie pulled up outside Aunt Babs’s house and climbed out of his car looking so handsome and so nicely dressed and presentable, Cindy felt as if her heart would burst. Even Alice couldn’t find a critical comment to make.

  Alice invited them all around to her new house for dinner the next evening, and all the men dressed in a jacket and tie, even Joey. Robbie, who had not expected to be attending such a formal event, had to go and buy a tie.

  ‘It’s such a shame Spencer is in Beverly Hills s
eeing a client this evening,’ said Alice. ‘But let me show you round. A little tour de la maison. This place is the latest in desert chic. One of the magazines is coming to take photos.’

  Alice, in new sandals made of Perspex with plastic flowers trapped in the clear high heels, click-clacked her way across the patio. The house had a large open-plan living room, where the focal point was an enormous fireplace set in a wall made entirely of slabs of local stones. The furniture was sleek ultra-modern Danish. The kitchen had all the latest appliances, which amused Cindy as she knew her aunt was not at all interested in cooking. Maybe Spencer cooks, she thought. But then they were shown the barbecue and bar, which Alice told them was Spencer’s domain. The roof of the house was flat, so anyone in the vast swimming pool had uninterrupted views of the mountains that rose in the distance behind the house. The living room had a plate-glass, floor-to-ceiling window that looked across the green lawn with its geometrically placed potted plants towards the desert and snow-capped mountains.

  ‘Cindy tells me that you’ll be working in a law firm over the summer vacation. My first husband was an attorney and Spencer is, too,’ said Alice. ‘I think it is the only real profession.’

  ‘Alice, there are lots of real professions,’ retorted Babs. ‘What about doctors, or accountants, or dentists, for that matter?’

  ‘I suppose you’re right about doctors, but they tend to keep very long hours, which would spoil one’s social life. And I think that all the other professions are not really on a par with attorneys. No, young man, you’ve made the right choice for a career. Money and prestige, that’s what it’s all about.’

  ‘I’m quite interested in the law, too,’ Robbie pointed out.

  ‘Oh, that,’ said Alice blithely. ‘Well, I suppose Spencer is too, sometimes.’

  ‘What law school do you want to get into?’ asked Babs.

  ‘I’ve applied for both Stanford and Harvard, but I would really love to get into Harvard. It’s the best school in the States, and I would make such great contacts there, as well.’

  Cindy gulped. Robbie had never mentioned Harvard to her. What would happen to their relationship if he got in there? Stanford was bad enough, but at least it was in California. Harvard was on the other side of the country! It didn’t bear thinking about. Still, he might not get the marks. As soon as that thought occurred to Cindy, she felt mean. Of course she wanted Robbie to get into the best law school he could.

  Dinner turned out to be a bit of a disaster. It started well enough when Alice presented everyone with a salad that she had made herself. It was beautifully decorated and only marred by the fact that the ranch-style dressing had sat in the refrigerator too long and had set. Then she brought a pie to the table.

  ‘It’s chicken pot pie,’ she said. ‘Now I hope that everyone is up for a big serve. Of course I shan’t have any, I’ve had plenty of salad. As my family knows, Robbie, I don’t think that cooked foods are very healthy. I try only to eat food that is in its raw state.’

  So saying, Alice served up enormous slices of pie to everyone else. Unfortunately, she had bought a frozen pie from the supermarket and had not bothered to defrost it properly before putting it in the oven and then had not given it enough time to cook all the way through. Cindy realised straight away that the pie was only cooked at the edges and still frozen in the centre. Everyone dutifully tried to eat the edible bits, but Alice noticed how much they all left on their plates.

  ‘Perhaps I shouldn’t have commented on my dislike for unhealthy cooked food, because it seems to have put you all off your chicken pie. Never mind, I have a lovely Key lime pie for dessert.’

  The Key lime pie certainly looked splendid and was piled high with meringue and thick cream on top, the whole confection standing at least eight inches high on the plate.

  ‘This is lovely,’ Robbie said politely. ‘Did you make it yourself?’

  ‘Why, thank you, Robbie. Actually, it’s a Sara Lee, but I added all the extra cream myself.’

  Cindy couldn’t look at Robbie in case she started giggling.

  *

  In many ways, Cindy’s sophomore year proved to be even better than her freshman year. She did not try for another part-time job because she thought that if she budgeted carefully enough, her summer earnings from working for her aunts plus babysitting for a wealthy client of Spencer’s would be enough to see her through. She performed well academically, excelling in math as always.

  Her relationship with Robbie was her one disappointment. She saw a good deal less of him that year than she had in her freshman year. He still seemed to delight in her company and was as affectionate as ever, and she was sure that there was no one else, but he didn’t come around to the sorority house as he had the previous year, nor did he want to come out with their friends as often. When Cindy said something about hardly ever seeing him, Robbie said that everything was fine and he was just studying as hard as he could to get into law school.

  Cindy told Babs that she was worried about him.

  ‘Sometimes I think he puts way too much pressure on himself so he can get into one of the Ivy League law schools. Did I tell you he’s decided not to play football this year because it will take too much of his time?’

  ‘He sounds like a sensible young man looking out for his future,’ said Babs. ‘I hope that Joey is as single-minded when it comes to his future, too. You have to admire him.’

  But Cindy didn’t feel reassured. ‘Auntie Babs, what if he gets into Harvard? That’s all the way on the other side of the country. I’ll never see him.’

  ‘Well, then we just have to hope that he gets into Stanford,’ replied Babs.

  Robbie continued to reassure Cindy that, as far as he was concerned, their relationship hadn’t changed, but Cindy wasn’t so sure. At Christmas, instead of the engagement ring she had been hoping for, he gave her a single pearl pendant instead. Though she was a bit dis­appointed, the necklace was so lovely that Cindy decided to think of it as a sign of things to come. She vowed she would never take it off.

  ‘That’s just beautiful,’ said Babs, as she admired the gleaming trinket.

  ‘It looks to me like one of those Japanese cultured pearls,’ said Alice. ‘Still, I suppose it’s the thought that counts.’

  On the day of Robbie’s commencement ceremony, she was almost as excited as Robbie himself. She sat proudly near his parents, pleased that his hard work had paid off, as he’d not only come third in his year, he had been chosen to give the valedictory speech on behalf of all the graduating students. Cindy felt very tenderly towards him as he leaned into the microphone and began to talk about the promise of tomorrow.

  Afterwards, she posed for lots of photographs with Robbie and his parents. As he left with them to return to Sacramento, he assured her he would ring her regularly. ‘Nothing is going to change between us, I promise you, Cindy,’ he said as he kissed her goodbye.

  Cindy returned to Palm Springs for the summer after briefly visiting her father in Spokane. Seeing her old town again confirmed that the move to California had been the right thing to do.

  Robbie rang her as promised for the first couple of weeks. No, he hadn’t heard back from the law schools where he’d applied, but as soon as he got any news, he’d let her know.

  Then the phone calls became irregular. Robbie often sounded distracted and sometimes they struggled to talk at length. Cindy was upset, but she knew he was working again in the law office in Sacramento, and that he was probably busy, as indeed she was, working between her aunts’ two shops.

  Then a letter arrived from Robbie.

  His excitement was clear in the opening line: Wonderful news! I’ve been accepted into Harvard Law School! But she had to reread again and again the next lines: So I think it best if we break up our friendship now. You are so lovely, but if we try to keep the relation­ship going, I’ll never be able to concentrate fully on my
studies. I know this may seem unfair, as you’ve done nothing but support me and my ambitions in all the time I’ve known you, but in the end I feel that I must put my career first. I’ve struggled to make this decision as I truly had feelings for you, but now I must move on. I hope one day you find someone who is really deserving of your love. I wish you all the best for the future and I will never stop caring for you, and hope we will continue to be friends. Love, Robbie.

  Friends! Cindy burst into tears. She tore off her pearl pendant and flung it to the other side of the room, where it hit the wall and then slid down behind the bookcase. How dare Robbie break it off! Everything he’d said about nothing changing between them had been a lie. How cruel and selfish he was!

  She read the letter through several times, trying to make sense of it. ‘What is he saying? He loves me so much that I’ll ruin his career?’ she asked the empty room. But she didn’t want him to leave her. She loved him and she knew that she would never be able to love anyone as much again. She was convinced that Robbie was the only man who could make her happy. All her wedding day dreams disintegrated before her eyes.

  When Babs got home later that evening, she found Cindy on the sofa, her eyes red and swollen from crying.

  ‘Oh, you poor girl,’ she said, when Cindy had choked out what had happened. ‘What a terrible, self-serving letter. You might not realise it now, but if that is the sort of person Robbie is, then you’re well rid of him. I know you don’t believe me, but you’ll find out that I’m right.’

  ‘But I love him,’ sobbed Cindy, burying her face in her aunt’s lap. ‘I thought he was going to propose!’

  Babs stroked her hair. ‘I know, sweetheart. It’s your first great love. We all get our hearts broken at some stage. I know that’s no consolation.’

  ‘I told you he wasn’t up to par,’ said Alice bluntly, when she heard about the letter. ‘Move on. You can do a lot better. Personally, I think he has piggy, calculating eyes. You can tell so much about a person by their eyes.